I'm Going to Love the Hell Out of You to Keep the Hell Out of Me

     Divorces and separations are difficult for all involved. I understand that on a real level, however I simply don't understand why people feel the need to inject themselves into other people's business. So, apparently during the course of this whole thing, a mutual associate--I can't really call her a friend because we didn't really interact with her as a couple or as individuals during the marriage--decided that she needed to send an email to a few of the girls I had either dated or befriended in college and "warn" them not to interact with me and to align themselves with my ex-wife because "she doesn't deserve to be treated like this." Wow! As a result, some of the people who had been my primary support system before I got married, have chosen to turn their backs on me at a time when support is one of my greatest needs.To them I say, "I am going to love the hell out of you to keep the hell out of me."
     Whatever the reason may be for your need to shun me, disown me, judge me, or look down on me, have at it! If I choose to treat you like you treat me, I will have become the very thing you have accused me of being. Instead, I am choosing to be grateful that you have decided to surround her with support and love. She will need it. I only pray that you remember to support and love the children as well, who, by the way, still love and adore their father. When you send your emails, be sure to include a prayer request for the children who are forced to listen from the sidelines as you encourage their mother to verbally degrade their father. Include a prayer request for the Bishop who has to counsel with her when she is being influenced by your nosiness. Include a prayer request for your own family that if you should ever be in the same situation that someone would, out of the goodness of their heart, send a chain email to everyone from your past on your behalf.
     Really, people, when did our lives become so darn interesting that everyone wants to be a part of it. I am just wondering where all these "friends" were for the nine of years of trying to get through school, raise kids, start careers, etc? Where were these friends when our children had music recitals, school plays, birthday parties, baby blessings, and all of those things? Where were these friends during finals when we were too stressed to cook? Where were these friends when our marriage was falling apart to offer to watch the kids so we could go to the temple or on a date? For that matter, where were these friends on our wedding day?
     The only one who called me in my darkest hour, at the death of my daughter, is the exact one that has been attacked the most. I won't call her name to protect her and her family, but I will defend our friendship to the death. When she did call that day, she called my ex-wife's phone instead of mine, like a lady. I will admit that I caused her some heartache and pain during the course of friendship, but like a woman of faith, she has forgiven me. We have been able to make the atonement of Christ effective not only in our individual lives but in our friendship, so what gives anyone the right to swoop in and tell us that we can't be friends when in fact, the only reason I know any of the others is because of her. When I was freshly home from a mission and away at school for the first time, she took the time to introduce me to new people. When I was worried about how I would pay for college, she helped me get the ball rolling on the scholarship that would fund my education. So, I hope you all are happy. If your point was to rob me of my support system and cast me down, YOU HAVE FAILED!!!!!
     You see, while I am loving the hell out of you to keep the hell out of me, there is an army---yes, I said an army--of people who love the hell out of me. There is an army of people who roll of bed everyday and pray for me. There is an army of people who check in on me everyday. And I just want you all to know that my army of people join me everyday in loving the hell out you to keep the hell out of me! Now, run tell that!